I was sitting on my couch the other day watching my son make an utter mess and then heard myself tell him if he didn’t clean it up his birthday may not be as awesome as he wants it. Who have I become? I used to listen to my Aunts encourage my cousins and even myself to be good with an upcoming Holiday or Birthday as the incentive and I promised myself I would never do that. Well here I am. Guess what – it works. I even thought up a few otherΒ signs that I’m Not the Mom I thought I would be… 10 to be exact.
1. I can dose a Meds dropper by the light of my phoneΒ and never wake my sleeping patient
Let’s face it. Those middle of the night medicine doses are not fun. I hate getting up and I hate waking up my Kiddie. Why? Usually because once i wake them up they stay up for at least the next hour. So what have I done? I have become skilled at using as little light as possible (most times the flashlight on my phone) to dose and medicate said Kiddie without them ever knowing. It’s a skill and I’m proud to have it.
2. ‘We’ll See’ has become my standard reply to ALL request. No commitment = no disappointment
I learned when my oldest was about 3 that saying yes usually meant I was basically signingΒ my soul away to a child because if I ever had to take that word back it was a complete devastation. The world was ending and I was the worse mom ever.
So how have I fixed this dilemma with my 3 younger Kiddies? Now when I am faced with the never endingΒ Can We Go? Can We Have? or Can We Get?Β requestsΒ instead of committing to a Yes. I answer: We’ll See. This gives me time to consider, plan and if necessary deny said requests.
My Kiddies are so used to it now that when their younger brother asked what “We’ll See” means recently (he’s 3) my Girlies told him: “It usually means no but sometimes she surprises us”
Yup. I’m a genius. I know. π
3. Bribery is NOT beneath me
Never say never. Growing up I said I would never ‘bribe’ my children to be good. Listen, that is truly a beautiful thought. That your children will always be good simply because you want them to but the reality: they won’t. My Kiddies are pretty well behaved but there are times when the situation requires a bribe.
That’s right requires. When I’m in public, a professional setting or I know I need them to cooperate I have been known to negotiate the behavior I need. Whether that is a promise of a Happy Meal, Ice Cream or small toy, bribery – I have learned – is not beneath me.
4. Activity wait times are the closest thing I get to ‘me time’
So I try to keep my Kiddies as active and busy as possible but it’s not only for their benefit. Nope. I have an ulterior motive. It gives me bit of ‘me time’. That hour or so that I spend waiting in the little areas designated for parents. That’s time I get to think, read, blog or even play a game without interruption. It’s my golden time and I love it.
5. Cleaning up may sometimes include a trip to the trash for a few toys.Β
You’ve done it too. You know youΒ have. Those toys that are broken, don’t seem to play anymore or have even been forgotten. You have a mini ‘clean up‘ and suddenly they disappear.
I’ve done it and I’m not ashamed. My Kiddies have so many toys that I know they don’t even notice when I have one of my clean up moments. The toys that are good enough to pass on I sneak to the car and donate but the ones that are broken or simply not worth the rescue they say hello to the trash-man the next day.
6. Some toys don’t deserve new batteries
Speaking of toys. There are some toys that once the ‘batteries included’ give out their last bit of juice I honestly don’t think they deserve new ones. I have had this one toy that only made it’s creepy laughing sound when I was alone at night and while I had no idea where it was. So when the battery finally died and my Kiddies asked me to replace them…I didn’t have it – and I never planned on getting it. That toy just didn’t deserve it.
7. Some places are closed according to Momma’s mood about going there
Okay so this may be a bit of a white lie moment. I know. Still, let me ask: have you ever been warm, content and happy in your PJs and just ready to relax and have your Kiddies request something that would mean getting dressed and actually going outside? Or even on your way home and suddenly they want to go get whatever from wherever? Yet home is in view and all you want is your bed?
These are the times when certain business hours may change slightly according to my mood. Yes, McDonald’s has been closed at 1:25pm and No, Toys R Us is not always open on a Saturday. Why? because I don’t want to go there and being closed usually means less persistence in the request to go.
Fault me if you will. #SorryNotSorry
8. I have a set of Apps designed specifically for distraction
When in doubt App them out. Yup, I am that mom. The one who has a Kiddie begging to leave from boredom during one of my many errands or appointments who hands over her phone with the latest and greatest Kiddie distraction App. Why? Because it works. Nuff said.
9. I’m not above using upcoming birthdays and holidays as βincentiveβ for good behavior
Like I stated in the beginning, I have been know to remind my Kiddies that there is a Holiday or Birthday coming up that they may want to be on their best behavior for to make sure all their wishes come true.
Does this make me a bad person or mother? I don’t think so. Deep down they know I will still make it all they want it to be but that slight possibility that throwing that next piece of candy may put those dreams at risk…yeah that works.
10. The bathroom has become my sanctuaryΒ
There was a time when going to bathroom was a quick process and I was always rushing to get back to a baby, a task or a chore. No more. Now a trip to the bathroom is about the only time I get to think my own thoughts. I sneak in there, close the door and find my bit of escape and sanctuary even if it only lasts for about 10 minutes and ends with little fingers under the door. They’re my moments and I treasure them.
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I love this! I think I can relate to everyone! Thanks for linking up to the Bloggers Brags Pinterest Party! I’ve pinned your post to the Bloggers Brags Pinterest Board.
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Thanks Tammy! It’s been great finding out I am not the only mom who has her own set of secret tools with her Kiddies π Thanks so much for hosting such a great party to share at…
I wish my bathroom was my sanctuary…it's crazy how that;'s when everyone needs me the most. I so throw out toys and lie about not having batteries. I lie about places being closed too!!! I can't medicate while he's asleep though, how do you do that???? I have to wake him up, but he usually goes back to bed unless he's horribly sick then I have to stay with him.
Haha! I had to find somewhere to simply take a breather…LOL
Oh dosing while asleep is a skill that took me many years to perfect. I have the syringe type medication dosers. I just squeeze his cheeks a bit to get his mouth open stick it to the corner of his mouth towards the back and slowly administer. He swallows out of instinct and never wakes up.
Ok small quick secret. Years ago I asked my very proper mum how she did it. i was going out of my mind. She asked me to remember those Fridays when she would set my sister and I up with cartoons or something to do and she would be in the house but disappear. I said yes I remember. She would go and run a bath and take a glass of wine to that room and lock the door. She then said you need to find a room with a lock or get a babysitter and get yourself a glass of wine.
Years later as I became the mum of a teen, I asked several girlfriends how they coped. I was invited to the girls Friday night club…. Holy cow!!!!!!
Wow!! That is so cool! I’m telling you it is necessary! Every mom needs that time alone even it is less than an hour to simple be – be alone with her thoughts and just regroup. Your mom was smart and I’m glad she passed her secret on to you π
Hmmm, I'd say I probably most relate to #5. Having grown up in a cluttered home, I really can't stand clutter. My mother told me that I was the child who held the firm belief "for every thing there is a place, for every place there is a thing". So true!!! So, every now and then mommy cleans the playroom….with a garbage bag in tow…and viola' perfection. My daughter never asks or complains…she's a pack rat and doesn't know of half the stuff she has (and is probably grateful she didn't have to clean it)! π
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My youngest daughter is exactly the same way. That quote would definitely fit her. She is always cleaning up behind her siblings and my clean up doesn’t bother her at all π
Love this! I'm all about #9 right now since I have 2 of my 3 with upcoming birthdays on top of holidays. And my oldest knows not to get in major trouble because I WILL cancel a birthday party at the last minute & direct all gifts to the return counter or Goodwill's nearest donation box.
I don't have kids yet, but I have experienced a lot of these things as a nanny! It's funny how we think we will be one way, and then find out life isn't that ideal! Thanks for sharing this with Hump Day Happenings.
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I can relate to all of those and I am not ashamed to admit it. We gotta keep our sanity somehow!
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OMG this is hilarious. Why? Because I have or can relate to all of them. Love it. This is the best post I have read in awhile. Thank you so much for sharing. New follower and found you from Let's Be Friends.
Haha! Yes those are my Go-Tos…LOL We’ll See is what I say without hesitation and many a toy has disappeared as I cleaned. LOL – who says batteries are a must? π
Yes, bribery is not beneath me, either! π I also use the words "We' see" all the time! It usually means yes but I just don't want to say yes because I don't want to end up dashing any expectations if something changes. Hang in there mama – I will know to look for you in the bathroom!
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The bathroom is the only room I can have some time to myself. However, I still have little people knocking on the door and waiting for me to get out.
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I think bathrooms are a Mother’s hiding place and sanctuary LOL oh I still have the little voices calling for me but most times they give up after a few moments…most times π
I confess to 1,2,3,4 (pinning from my phone) ,5,6, 7 and 9! There were no apps when mine were small so that was out, and they would just bang on the bathroom door anyway, or worse, open the lock with a chip fork(that's a UK thing I think, little wooden fork from the chip shop???) and just come straight on in!
Bribery is a tried and tested parenting technique, I'm sure even Supernanny does that doesn't she?
Haha! All but one is a great list…I love Apps and the greatest part is I pick the educational ones and they don\’t even notice! Oh I am so glad my Kiddies have not figured out how to pick the locks…I would loose my sanctuary!
Yes, I\’m sure even the SuperNanny uses a bit of bribery…
I think I can relate to all of these!! Not only have a few toys disappeared during cleanup but sometimes little toys disappear as I vacuum. I use to try to avoid them, but now with 3 kids I stuck them right up if they are something that won't be missed.
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Haha. I love this! I think we all have these grand ideas of the things we would never do as a parent, but we really don't know until we are one. π
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YES! YES! I love this! "We'll see" is my go to, non-committal answer too and yes, some toys DO NOT deserve new batteries! I knew I liked you!
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This was so interesting to read! I smiled through reading it because even though I am not a mama yet I can see myself thinking some of the same things! Thank you for sharing with us!!
π Rebecca
p.s. Stopping over from the Peony project link up! π
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