Do you remember those old school TV breaks or PSAs that would announce the time (usually 10pm) and ask you if you new where your children were? I do. Mainly because every time it came on I was sitting right next to my Grandmother because my being out anywhere without her much less at 10pm was not likely at all. I raised and am raising my children the same way, they are home with us – as a family and not out somewhere where I have to wonder which is why right now it’s 3:25AM and I can say I know where my children are.
I am surrounded by my youngest Kiddies. No, like seriously surrounded…LOL. We are celebrating the beginning of Summer Break with a Double Couch Slumber Party. So I literally have all 3 of them sleeping soundly around me. My Teenager, well he has gotten too old for our family slumber parties. Actually no, I take that back, not to old maybe to picky. Basically he hates sleeping on the living room floor. So, he is upstairs in his room. Still sound asleep – I just checked. That’s right I still check on my big ol’ 17 year old to make sure he is sleeping, covered up (or fan on in this heat) and okay.
Yet, in a few months I won’t be able to. In a few months I won’t know where he is besides being at school. He’ll be away, in a dorm where I won’t be able to walk into his room to check him. I won’t be able to see how he is still curls up just like he used to when he was little. The most I will be able to say is that I just talked to or texted him. The thing is, I’m not sure I’m ready for that. For the Not Knowing.
Graduation is this Friday. This Friday! Over the weekend our church had a celebration for all the 2014 graduates, including my Teenager. He wore his cap and gown and walked the outer area of the sanctuary. I stood and clapped, snapped pictures and smiled but inside I was loosing it. This is really happening. He is graduating. He’s leaving. He’s going out THERE on his own. I kept it together though. I was so happy he was making steps towards a passion yet he was also stepping further away from being my baby and closer to being a man.
We went home and the next day was Senior Brunch, the day after that was Awards Ceremony and the next day was the Dress Rehearsal for Graduation Day! This was all happening TOO FAST….
Still, I was Taxi Driver, Cheerleader and the ultimate supporter through each day. I sat, I listened, clapped, snapped pics (you know same as above) and still same as before inside I was crying. We want our kids to excel, to achieve and to reach their goals. So watching him walk up there and receive his Music Honors Chord was all at once the proudest and saddest moment of my life. I saw in him the young man I was raising him to be but I wanted to hug the baby he used to be.
The day of the Dress Rehearsal I was actually relieved that I didn’t have to be there. I didn’t think I could keep it together watching it like that. Graduation is less than 2 days away and I am not sure whether I want to be THAT mom who looses it and bawls all through the ceremony or the stoic Mom who simply smiles and thanks everyone for coming. I have never been overly emotional. I have always kept it inside, dealt with it alone or in my writing, praying and solitude. So what will happen that day? I am not sure. My heart is overwhelmed and my logic fails me which is probably why I am up at 3:25 AM using my words to comfort myself.
In the meantime, I will enjoy every moment I have before he leaves because right now at 3:25 AM, I know where my children are.
Have you had any children leave home?
How did you deal with it?
Were you emotional or stoic?
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26 thoughts on “It’s 3:25 AM… I Know Where My Children Are.”
What a bittersweet post! For writing a post in the middle of thing, surrounded by your kids, this is really amazing! Best wishes to you oldest as he goes out into the world!
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It was but writing it definitely helped me get rid of a bit of the stress… LOL Thanks and Thanks again 🙂
Oh wow! I can only imagine the feeling…. I try not to think ahead to years ahead. The idea of my girls all grown up is a little scary to me. I have one that's 6 and another one who's almost 3.
Hugs to you mama! These are big moments, huge emotions.
Wishing you love and God's strength and comfort in this transition time.
Thanks for sharing (and for linking up to the SHINE Blog Hop)!
xoxo
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Its such a mixture of emotions. It early does kinda sneak up on you. I don\’t want to think about my younger ones either (7, 5 and 3) Whew! LOL Thanks so much! I appreciate the support and the prayers. Truly. Thanks for being such a wonderful host 😀
Oh! My oldest is just now 6 but I think about this all the time! I can't bear the thought of him leaving. Hope you're doing okay. I'm sure he'll become a wonderful man!
Hi Brittany!! Aaah 6 🙂 I still have a 7, 5 and 3 year old at home but I am treasuring very moment before that Drop off day.. 🙂
Congratulations! Happy graduation to your son and to you for all us mothers do to get our kids there
Thank you so much! 🙂
I hope you made it through the graduation ok. I'm glad my kids are still young, but I know that this day will come for me before I'm ready for it. I'm sure your son will do great in life.
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I did! No tears…plenty of emotions but no tears 😀 Thank you so much Sonya.
This was a lovely post, Tiffany! I have not yet experienced the horror — yes, I am scared of it; I profess that I'll never be ready — of one of my children flying the coop. Heck, I get teary-eyed when I think about dropping Scotty off at preschool next year.
Yeah, Mama's got some emotional work to do.
On a brighter note, I can't wait to host a Double Couch Slumber Party!! That sounds super cool!
xo
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Thank you Courtney! I was scared too, still am a bit. It\’s such a mix of emotions: joy, sadness, fear, excitement… I just have to trust I taught him everything he needs to make it and be successful. I\’m trying to be strong but I have my days (and nights obviously…lol).
Oh yes! Please do and let me know how you like it…they are so much fun!
Aw, congrats on him graduating! I don't have children, but I am the youngest in the family so I imagine the family was both glad and crying as I was making my transition from high school to college haha!
Thanks so much! Haha.. it is definitely an emotional rollercoaster but I am so proud and happy to see him ovine forward in life 🙂 Thanks for coming by to visit!
Oh wow, congratulations to your son, and to you for being an awesome Mom.
I'm so not prepared to even think about a future that doesn't have my baby girl beside me constantly.
It's tough even letting her go to preschool.
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Thank you so much, Lizzie! I\’m so happy we made it here but the reality of it is like WHOA! LOL I am holding on to the next few months very tightly.. 😀
Hi Tiffany thanks for sharing your heart with us. I still have a long way to go with an 11 year old and 4 year old, but I know for sure I will be crying. I am an emotional person and I know my kiddos leaving me will be a bittersweet moment. Congratulations to your son and all his achievements! ~Sherri
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Hi Sherri! Thanks for coming by…I was glad I had a place to share. Sometimes just getting the worry out of my head is the best way to get over it. I actually didn\’t cry but it wasn\’t for lack of emotion… LOL Thank you so much! Have a wonderful weekend.
Tee, I got teary-eyed reading that. I know I will be the mama that cries during graduation. I cried during my babies awards ceremonies the other day and they came home with me! Smh.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. Sometimes that isn't easy to do. You are such a great mother so always know that all the love, hard work, and dedication you've put into being a supermom will keep your baby when he goes out into the world. *hugs*
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Aww shucks Drea. I was up just thinking way too much about all that is happening so out came the keyboard… LOL I\’m still not sure I will let the tears flow but my heart will certainly be in overdrive when it comes to emotions. I know what you mean! My younger ones get me with all their little achievements too. Who knew being a Mom was so emotional… LOL 😉
Thank you for being willing to read my rantings… for me releasing emotions through words is the easiest way for me to cope and knowing that it may helps someone else in the same situation makes it that much more helpful. Wow, supermom? Nah, just trying my best to do my best 😀 Thank you tough xoxoxo {{hugs}}
I SO can relate to this! My oldest graduated last year, but he is actually staying home for 2 years while he goes to school. My youngest graduates in two years, so they will probably leave home at the same time – not sure I can handle that at all! High school graduation is such a bittersweet time. You are so proud of them, but so sad for yourself at the same time. Plus, they're so excited, so you want to be excited for them too. When I went to college my mom was so sad – I'm glad we have texting now so we can at least have some small communication with them every day. Hang in there – you sound like a GREAT mom!
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Yes Lana, the mixture of emotions can be so much at times. I am excited and anxious to see where he goes from here yet that other part of me wants him to stay. I will definitely be putting the advances in tech to full use 😀 Thanks so much and I hope you have a wonderful week…
I can't even imagine that day right now, when they're off on their own, hoping that I gave them all the tools they did to succeed and be safe and make wise decisions!
I know, I tried to put this off in my mind so often now that it\’s here it\’s a bit crazy! Hopefully I have given him everything he needs…LOL
Oh crap … I'm going to be THAT MOM who cries. Although my daughter has a long, long way to go I still wonder what it will be like. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Hoping this new chapter in your lives is a happy, proud, and successful one for all of you.
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I think I may be too… I\’ll try to contain it until he\’s not in front of his friends… 😉 Thank you so much Jennifer for your well wishes..