I have been sharing my journey through my Teenager’s Senior Year and it has been a bumpy ride to say the least. The emotions tied to the significance of where he is in his life at age 17 and where I was at 17 – a teen mom wondering where her life was headed and trying to make the right decision for both my unborn child and myself has been in my face the entire time. The acceptance of him as more than just my baby and seeing him go through events that I myself never experienced. These are all steps in our process.
Now that I am living and experiencing these moments with him I have such a mix of feelings ranging from excitement and anticipation to worry and a bit of dread. My son is a teenager! He has made it through High School, he has goals, dreams and plans. The years of hoping I was doing everything right have finally come to a moment of reveal. I get to see the impact and results of my tears and prayers. Yet in that same moment comes the worry – have I taught him everything he will need? Is he ready to be on his own and away from home? Does he have the firm foundation to maintain who he is away from my daily guidance?
These things are on constant play within my mind and heart all while I try to show him the support and encouragement he needs to feel secure in his choices for his future. I can’t let him see, feel or even get a glimpse of my fears because they may become his own. I must give him what he needs even when I am wondering if I have done all that I was supposed to.
When he came in from the mailbox the other day all of these things came to the forefront in a very ‘in my face’ kinda way.
“Ma! Ma! Ma! It’s here…a letter from the school. “
It was here. That letter that every High School Senior looks for with a mixture of dread and hope. Was he accepted? What it a rejection? This was the next step towards the end of Senior Year and the beginning of so much more.
“It’s thin.”
I saw the thin envelope that appeared to have no more than one piece of paper within it and my heart jumped. Oh No! Was it a rejection? Was I happy or disappointed? How would I console him if it was? How would he react? What would we do from there?
“What’s that mean?”
He didn’t know. He never had that moment when you search for a thick letter to mean acceptance with forms, brochures and pieces of your college future packed tightly inside. Should I say it? No. No. Let’s wait. It may not be. I could be wrong. Things are probably different now. No more pages of forms. It’s all online now. Right?
“Nothing. Open it.”
As I stood there watching him hold the envelope and unable to rip it open I flashed back to the same moment in my own life. I was dating and thought I was in love. I had plans, goals and dreams that would take me far away from the home I felt had become my trap. From all I thought was holding me back. My letter was thick. It was full of everything I hoped for.
Finally he ripped it open. Giggles! That’s what I heard from my normally reserved Teenager. Giggles and jumping and a lap around the staircase. He was in! He was accepted! He was going to his 1st Pick School! I was happy and filled with joy to see his joy yet sad still. He was really leaving. did he feel as I felt when I opened my letter? Did he see it as a release from me?
“Mom! It’s an acceptance! I’m In!”
No. He was joyful for his future. His dream was that much closer. I released the fear. Embraced the happy. This was an acceptance. He was being given a chance to pursue the paths that I have encouraged him to choose. The dreams I watched develop and the passion he holds so dear. This was a happy moment and I would live in IT and not in my hesitation for the future.
“Call your Dad! We need to tell him the good news!”
We would celebrate. We would face the changes together and come through them stronger. As we always have. This was an acceptance. This is a part of the parenting process and the growth of a boy to a man.
Do you have a Teenager?
How have you prepared not only them but yourself for their future?
How do you feel about them moving into adulthood?
“Believe in yourself, your passions, and your dreams. Your voice is unique - build on that. Embrace what is different about you and make it your greatest asset!”
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20 thoughts on “The Acceptance.”
As a mom, I am dreading this moment. I am trying to convince my daughter to stay in this area and not move too far away from home. I want her to go to a community college first because it is cheaper and they have smaller class sizes.
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Luckily he\’ll only be a couple hours away and my brother lives near and went to the same school so he\’ll b there to keep an we out…lol 😉
My oldest is starting kindergarten but one of my good friends is going through this stage with her senior son. I think about how anxious I am about what starting kindergarten means and I can't even imagine how I'll deal with all the changes that come with college! Sounds like you did a great job raising him though so you should be proud of him and yourself. Congrats to both of you.
Angela @ Time with A & N
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Funny thing is I just dealt with sending my oldest Girlies off to Kindergarten last year…so many changes. LOL Thanks you so much and thanks for coming by Angela 🙂
Oh my gosh this gave me chills!!!!! How exciting and bittersweet….. You write so beautifully. I could feel the conflicting swirl of emotions you're showing us here. Congrats to the awesome boy you've raised and to YOU fir being so awesome.
Hi Jessica…thank you so much. I’m glad my feelings were able to come through so clearly. Thank You! We are definitely very blessed and happy to reach such a milestone both in his life and in parenting.
Congrats to your son and to YOU! It's a special moment for you both and another signal that life is changing for you. I have 3 boys and have been through it twice. That moment never loses its magic. The relief, the joy, the uncertainty, the reality of what it all means. Watching their excitement helps to temper your feelings. This is such a time of change, but also a chance to recognize that you have helped your son reach this milestone in a myriad of ways. Enjoy each piece as the time goes by.
Gilly
Thanks Gilly! It is definitely a once in a lifetime experience tat we have shared and I am so grateful to be here with him. To see him in these moments. You\’re right watching his happiness helps me keep my own upside down emotions in check. I am definitely enjoying each stage…thanks so much for coming by 🙂
As the mom of 5 boys, I can totally relate. You did a great job of describing the crazy ride:). One thing I a nan tell you is that this did not happen by chance. You are a good mom.
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Thank you…it is definitely a rush of different emotions. Thank you so much, I am definitely proud of him and Blessed to have made it through the ups and downs.
Hi there, I came over from the SITS linkup! Such sweet posts about your son! I also read the Senior Pictures post as well…I'm not a mom (yet) but you and I are around the same age and this makes me think of my best friend from high school who was pregnant w/TWINS our senior year. It's so scary how quickly time passes…
Hi Kenya! Nice to meet you 🙂 Thank you so much for having a visit with me today. Yes, being pregnant in school was an experience to say the least and I couldn\’t imagine trying to do that with twins but I am sure your friend did great! Time definitely does pass all to quickly and living in every moment is very important.
Aww, congrats on your son getting accepted to his first pick! I remember when I found out I got accepted to my first pick. Funny enough, even though it was 6 years ago, I found out online. I didn't get my letter/package tell it was nearly time for orientation. You all are in store for an awesome journey! So glad God has blessed you all with this wonderful news! 🙂
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Thank you Tenn! Online? Wow! I am definitely feeling my age…LOL We are truly blessed and I am so grateful. 🙂
What a beautifully written piece. My main parenting challenges right now are kindergarten registration and sleep training but even still I felt like I was right there in that mommy moment with you. Congrats on his acceptance.
Thank you Melissa! We are very excited and of course he is counting down the days… 🙂
Smiling! So happy for him and you of course too. I have a junior and we are just starting the process. It's an exciting time but also so bittersweet for the mom. It's hard to let go.
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Thank you! Oh you\’re almost there…LOL It is very exciting but very much emotional as well. It is so hard to let go and realize you can\’t protect them the same anymore.
Wow! I have tears for you (yes, typing through tears) – feeling that fear and that joy. You said exactly what I think all the time "I can't let him see my fear or it may become his own." Even though it may not feel like it, it certainly sounds like your heart, mind and awareness are all in the right place and you are doing the right things. My oldest turns 13 in 2 months. I'm having a tough time accepting that I've now had him home for longer than I have left with him (does that make sense?) in my home. If I think about it I panic. And when I do I'll come back and read your words!
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It was very emotional to express but I am glad that it reached you in a way that can help and encourage you. I want nothing more than for my experiences to help someone else who may be in a similar situation. I totally understand what you mean when you say you\’ve had him home longer. It\’s such a hard transition. They as kids look forward to that \’getting away\’ but the releasing of them into the world is so hard.