To anyone who has followed this series about my journey through life and the ups and downs of Finding My True Path you know that it has been a while since my last post. I could blame it on the busyness of the Holidays, Family commitments and even a heavy Blog schedule yet to be completely honest the biggest reason has been fear. When I wrote the closing paragraph for “I Will Never Leave You” I knew what was coming, the only logical progression in my story: “He Called Me” is a part of my life that was not only influential to the woman I am today but is still a piece of me that I am learning to understand and embrace.
Letting Go
As I went forward in my life and found who I was as a mother I also began to find my own identity as a woman of faith. I was raised ‘at the altar’ and with that came a great feeling of dedication and at times obligation to be a part of the church and what it represented. Yet I also learned how to present that without truly living it. I knew that needed to end. I had reached a place in my life where I didn’t want to where a mask of Christianity anymore. I wanted my life to be true. I wanted to find my true path.
To do this I began to pray more, read more and study more. I sought after God and His design for me. No longer did I rely solely on the blueprint my Grandmother had set for me since my childhood. It was a what I needed then, it helped guide me through many trials and struggles yet I still needed to find my own way. I needed to hear His voice for myself and not simply through her.
In my seeking came sacrifices. I had to change my habits and even lose people I thought were friends. It is funny at times how the ones who could stand by you in your mess can’t stand seeing you step out of it. It is the people like that who were placed in your life as lessons not teachers. So I had to realize that I needed to take my lesson and move on. I won’t say it was always easy because those who deny you the truth of your circumstances and are willing to support you even in your wrong are the people we usually like. It is easier to stay where you are when there is no one pushing you to go farther.
Hearing His Voice
I’ve shared how my Grandmother always felt that there was a ‘call‘ upon my life. Her belief that I had a destiny in God that would take me beyond the pew and into a leadership position. I always heard this but accepting it never truly came. I saw it as her vision, her prayer. She expected me to go to Him simply for that purpose which I did for a long time. The thing was I did it with no intent of developing a relationship. It was only to please her.
In any relationship there needs to be a time where you simply listen to the other person. Not for gain or achieving a purpose but simply to hear what they have to say to you. I was never there for God. He was always there for me. Now don’t misunderstand, I know I can never repay or even deserve the blessings that God gives to me. This will always be an uneven exchange yet to give my heart and my ears to His words is something that I can do. I had to learn how to do. Instead of listing my wants I would ask His wants of me. Rather than declare all of my decisions and plans I would ask where He wanted to lead me.
He Called Me
In the bible there is a passage which tells us the experience of a young Samuel who was studying under the great Prophet Eli and continuously heard the voice of God calling him. At first he thought it was his teacher, yet when he went to Eli he was told that he had not been called. It wasn’t until the third time that Eli realized that it was God Himself calling Samuel and that the young child needed to accept the call and listen to the message that God wanted to give him.
1 Samuel 3:4-10 (NKJV)
4 that the Lord called Samuel. And he answered, “Here I am!”
5 So he ran to Eli and said, “Here I am, for you called me.” And he said, “I did not call; lie down again.” And he went and lay down.
6 Then the Lord called yet again, “Samuel!”
So Samuel arose and went to Eli, and said, “Here I am, for you called me.” He answered, “I did not call, my son; lie down again.”
7 (Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord, nor was the word of the Lord yet revealed to him.)
8 And the Lord called Samuel again the third time. So he arose and went to Eli, and said, “Here I am, for you did call me.” Then Eli perceived that the Lord had called the boy.
9 Therefore Eli said to Samuel, “Go, lie down; and it shall be, if He calls you, that you must say, ‘Speak, Lord, for Your servant hears.’” So Samuel went and lay down in his place.
10 Now the Lord came and stood and called as at other times, “Samuel! Samuel!” And Samuel answered, “Speak, for Your servant hears.”
It wasn’t long after I started seeking my path in God that I began to hear His voice for myself. In the beginning I was nervous that I may simply be hearing the echoes of my Grandmother’s voice and her desires for me. I would go to her for guidance instead of directly to God. Then I realized I was not hearing a call through her but it was God calling to me directly. First I heard it in comfort letting me know that my past did not determine my future. That His plans for me were enough to make my past into my future testimony.
Jeremiah 29:11 (NKJV)
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
I then heard His voice offering me assurance that no matter what faults, flaws or short comings I felt I may have He was enough to help me endure and conquer them. Not all of my shortcomings were to be released because it was through them that I would find my strength and my ability to share them with others. To speak, testify and witness in spite of and use my story to help others in similar situations to see that with God there are no boundaries or limits to what He can use you for.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NKJV)
9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. ”Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
As with Samuel, once he heard the call and recognized it’s true source he was then required to acknowledge, listen and react to it’s instructions. I was no difference. Once I acknowledged that I was hearing God’s voice for myself it was time to listen and react to what He was saying.
Continue this journey with me to
Finding My True Path with the next part of this series…
“Walking My Path”
Have you read the rest of my story? Read them here: Finding My True Path…{a series}
“I Will Never Leave You”
“Believe in yourself, your passions, and your dreams. Your voice is unique – build on that. Embrace what is different about you and make it your greatest asset!”
- The ‘Dirt’ on Dirty Whiskey Craft Cocktail Bar – August 6, 2021
- I Never Went To Prom – Will A Fashion Show Do? – May 1, 2021
- Cape Fear Regional Theatre – Best In The House – May 1, 2021
Leave a Reply