I’ll Be Fine…They’ll Be Fine…Conquering Fear Embracing Faith

I’ll Be Fine…They’ll Be Fine… I have been repeating this to myself for the past week or so now. In the midst of my excitement and anticipation of attending my very first Blog Conference I have been dealing with something else – a fear, a nervousness – in the back of my mind. Something I just can’t seem to shake.

My biggest fear: leaving my children without me. I know, every parent’s fear. Yet it isn’t just about my fear of leaving them without me as a mother but leaving them period. Since their births I have always promised to never leave them. I know irrational right? I know every parent will have time away. For me it meant I will never abandon them. As a child who felt that pain I never want my children to know it. The wondering where your mother was, when she would come back, if she would come back. In our life as a military family, I have always been their constant, their consistency. In the morning, I’m there…at night, I’m there.

Since having my 7 year old I haven’t left my kiddies for more than 2 weeks. That was only to find a new home in Hawaii with my Hubby during our station there. I stressed the entire flight there and back. All during our real estate hunt and beach walks, the times I should have had peace instead I had fear and anxiety. I missed and longed for my children. Were they alright? Was anyone mistreating them? Did they miss me or need me? Were they happy? My would mind race with every thought and worry possible and it wasn’t until I saw their faces, heard their giggles and held them in my arms that I felt whole again  – at peace again.

My 3 year old was in my belly during that trip and since having him he has never been away from me for even a night. He’s never had to wake up without me near him or more than a ‘Mom’ call away. Still life happens. Growth happens. Right? I mean that is another part of what I keep telling myself. This is supposed to happen. They are getting older. I’m allowed to leave now. Parents can go away without their children. It’s okay. Still that fear lurks and creeps into my excitement…stealing my joy.

In a few hours I will be leaving my children for my Buddie it will be for the very first time. As I lay here and tell myself that all will be fine. That they will be fine and that I will be fine. I search for comfort in the only place I know to go. In God. I know I’m only leaving for 2 1/2 days still I feel the dread. The anxiety. The fear. I need to conquer it. I need to let it go and replace it somehow…

I know this. It’s familiar. I trust this. It’s for me. God’s Word has never failed me. I know this fear is not mine to embrace. I was never meant to have it. God has given me more and better…

These are God’s gifts to me: I have the power to pray protection, strength and safety over myself and my family; the love to give my children whether I am here physically or not; and a sound mind – I will not be troubled, I will not fear but instead I will embrace the gifts that God has promised me. The truth of His comfort and protection. Only God can give me these things but only I can reject them. Reject them with my worry, anxiety and focus on what could be. No. I will not accept fear. So today I choose faith, I choose to conquer that fear and embrace my faith in God’s promises.

You know what? I WILL Be Fine…They WILL Be Fine! Know how I know? Because my God says so! It’s just that simple. Just that easy. God said it and that’s all I need. I’m so thank flu to have the Word to rely on as a resource and as a reminder. Sometimes we all need that ‘hey remember this’ moment to help us realize that fear was not intended for us. God has greater things in store and to gain them we simply need to conquer the fear and embrace the faith.

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