So back in January I came across a wonderful post by my friend Michelle from Divas With A Purpose. It was a post where she explained how to choose and begin to focus on One Word for the entire year. I wrote about my choice, LISTEN, a few times after choosing it but thought now would be a great point in the year to do a bit of an update on how I’ve been doing on focusing on the word LISTEN in my life.
Now when this word came to me it was with my family and close relationships in mind but since choosing it I have realized that it spreads out even further than that. I have recently had to put my desire to listen to a true test during a conflict that came up during my role as a CoLeader of my daughter’s Troop. It wasn’t easy because my first instinct is to try a defend myself at all costs. I grew up in a family where not speaking up usually meant loosing the chance to speak at all.
Yet in this situation I felt strongly that the time for me to speak was not then. So, instead I listened. I heard what was being said at to me and tried to understand where the person could have been coming from and from where they were speaking. Doing that truly helped me to understand their tones and instead of being insulted or angered I was able to take the time to think on my response and act accordingly.
Prior to this I may have simply gone into my automatic defense and instead of thinking that perhaps the anger, rudeness or tone being directed at me wasn’t truly because of me. Does that make sense? There are times people are going through things in their lives and simply because they don’t have the chance, strength or consciousness to face it they take it out on the closest target they can find. At times that may end up being you at no fault of your own. How would you deal with it? Would you react or would you try to listen first?
I have often been accused of being too laid back and allowing people to disrespect me. Yet in my silence there is usually a hidden strength. All lions need not roar loudly. I am learning that by listening first my reactions are well thought out and usually more effective than a rash reaction to another person’s anger or rudeness.
Have you chosen a word to reflect and focus on for this year?
How are you doing? Have you met any obstacles along the way?
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19 thoughts on “LISTEN | One Word 2014 Update”
I think not reacting takes a lot more strength in times like this. Sometimes just listening lets the other person vent and get it all out so that you can then have a conversation. Congratulations to you for sticking to your purpose!
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I agree! It can definitely be a lot harder to hold your tongue than simply give your first reaction. I am learning how to listen and think before I react. Thanks so much and thanks for coming by 😀
I need to work on listening better, especially with my husband when I will often jump to defensiveness rather than hear him out completely.
My word for the year has been balance, and I think so far it has been good for me and going pretty well. We'll see how I do with it the rest of the year! Stopping by from the Monday Mommy Blog hop.
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Haha…I am seeing a trend in this area. I am just glad to hear that I am not the only one who needs to give the Hubby a bit more speaking time before I get my defense ready 🙂
Balance,…that is such a great word and goal for the year. I am glad that you are making progress in achieving it. Thanks for coming by and being a support of the Mommy Monday Blog Hop!
I love “all lions need not roar loudly” that’s great. I need to work on becoming a better listener. I think it’s great you were able to remain silent and get a better understanding of the other persons view even if it was misdirectered anger at you. Sometimes people just need to get that energy out.
Thanks…I had to realize that I can be in control without always trying to show it, ya know? Changing my perspective has helped me a lot in trying to work on this word for the year. You\’re right there are times are going through things that have nothing to do with the people they are taking it out on.
Fantastic! I have that same "quick to anger" thing – listening is the way to go – thank you so much for sharing!
Happy Easter & God bless!
Angie
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Yes, I try to hear but sometimes my anger is too loud…it\’s a process though and I\’m working at it. Thanks for coming by an have a wonderful Easter Sunday!
I should definitely put up a post like this. My word this year is UNDERSTAND and I have to work on examining how it has been so far. Glad to know you're sharing an update to us about this. 🙂 It's easy to get caught up and defend ourselves when we can but like what you said, sometimes we just need to be silent and listen just for us to know where people are coming from.
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I am trying to hold myself accountable. I didn\’t want to simple announce the word and then that was it. I\’m stumbling but I\’m still moving forward… 🙂 Thanks so much for coming by Rea 😀
I’ve started listening more this year too. I wrote a post that touched on it just last week for marriages. But it saved me from arguing with someone, because when she called the “meeting”, I was already on guard.
It is definitely a skill I have to practice at but the end results are definitely worth it.
I'm a horrible listener! I'm sure we've talked about it through comments on another post. I make little to no effort most days to be a better listener, but I'm aware of it. Its not purposely, its just that my mind goes a mile a minute and I forget what I'll say next if I don't say it right then. I really, really need to work on it! I'm a work in progress, always! 🙂
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Haha…I’m sure horrible is a bit of an exaggeration! Yet we seem to have the EXACT same problems…I am so busy trying to get my own thoughts straight I often miss what the other person is saying completely. It’s totally unintentional….I’m getting better and I am sure you will too! 😀
Thank you for the reminder to listen more and speak less.
Thank YOU for the comment support…I think we can all learn to listen more often and more efficiently.
I need to remember to be a better listener. Especially with my husband. He speaks slowly and carefully and leaves nice pauses at the end of each sentence. I have a bad habit of thinking those pauses as my invitation to talk, but really it's just him carefully choosing his next words.
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I am still working on it at home. With Hubby and Kiddies…it can be hard to truly here someone\’s full point before trying to get your own in. Trust me. I\’m there and still struggle at times.