This week has been a bit hectic to say the least with back to school shopping and prep so I was a bit late on realizing that I had no Swap Buddy – thank goodness for the #AskAwayFriday Facebook Page and Christy from Uplifting Families for coming to my rescue. Christy and I were both in a last minute search for a Buddy. We decided to ask each other questions (5 from each of us where I answer her 5 plus my own and vice versa…this was a last minute swap after all) about being the parents of the dreaded T word…Teenagers!
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Tiffany from Mrs. Tee Love Life Laughter,
Christy from Uplifting Families,
Stacey from This Momma’s Ramblings
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Amber from Bold Fit Mom
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Parenting Teenagers can be trying, stressful and challenging but seeing the results and the proof in their lives definitely makes it all worth it. This week Christy and I decided to ask each other a few things about how we parent our respective ‘T’ Words…. Teenagers!
Christy Asked..
I honestly had to go look up what SnapChat was. I have had a few issues in the past with my son on social media like Facebook, Instagram and Twitter so we removed all of his accounts until this past summer. He was only 14 when he first had them and didn’t understand that there were people out there not necessarily trying to be his friend. Even though I monitored his accounts we felt that it was more problems than we wanted and he needed to wait a bit longer so that he understood what it all really meant. I feel this was the best decision for my child. All teens are different and I think, as a parent, you have to know you child to make nearly any decision for their best interests.
Now that he is 17 he understands a lot more about being safe while online. He has watched me with my Blog and seen that there are somethings I simply won’t share through social media and now he gets why. I am added to all of his Social Media accounts and can monitor how he presents himself there but other than that I feel that now he is old enough to make those choices for himself.
Luckily my Teenager is much like me when it comes to selecting and calling someone a ‘friend’. I have seen that he is very good at filtering out people he feels will either take away from or hinder him from where he wants to be. The few people that he has chosen to call his friends and young men that I know have their goals and paths chosen and are working towards them.
I do make it a point to get to know the parent of my son’s friends because I feel that if our children are friends we should at least know each other. You can tell a lot about a child by how their parent interacts with you as another parent.
This is a great question! The Teenager and I actually share a love of music. He loves old school music like Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Frank Sinatra, Sam Cooke (yes he listens to it all on his own…lol). Then he also loves DubStep, R&B, Rap, Pop, etc. I actually love a lot of his DubStep choices and when we find a new one we often share it with each other.
I think a lot of his love for different genres and artists is based on his desire to find different sounds for his band and section arrangements but I love that this is something we can connect through. He has even started my younger Kiddies in on this love for older and different types of music. On any given day one of them can be heard singing a bit of Frank or Sam to themselves as they play.
The pants hanging half off! I HATE this and I so wish it was over already. The other day my son and I saw a boy in the doctors office who was sick and struggling to walk and his pants were so close to falling off it made me nervous. Luckily The Teenager has no love for this look. He is a total American Eagle, Aeropostale kinda kid. Slim Fit Jeans, Sperry Tider, Converse, Boots and a T-Shirt, Hoodie or button up are pretty much his standard daily look – with a side of silly :D
I Asked…
I definitely see how my Teenager has an influence over my younger Kiddies. Like I mentioned above, they love whatever song he may be singing, they repeat his phrases and even try to imitate his mannerisms. Kids often reflect what they see the most and in a home with 4 Kiddies their older brother is definitely one of their biggest and most seen images.
I always tell him that they are watching even when he may not notice. I have told him that the choices he makes may very well be the ones they choose later so to choose wisely and carefully. I have overheard (shhh…don’t tell) him telling his friends that he wouldn’t do something because he wouldn’t want to see his sister or brother doing it. *Insert Proud Momma Moment*
I do. I feel that he can learn from both my success and my mistakes. He knows the entire story of my Teen Pregnancy with him as well as the struggles that I dealt with while trying to juggle being a good Mom and still achieve the goals I had for myself. I tell him pretty much all of my story – the good and the bad – in the hopes that they will serve as guides and reference when he makes choices in similar situations in his own life.
Balance. This can be so difficult to do. I am that Mom. The one who calls, texts and checks on him throughout the day especially now that he is living away from home in dorms. I worry. I stress. Yet I think that is all part of being a parent. You want to protect that which is a part of you.
I have learned to let go a bit. To wait for him to ask for help before I offer it even if I may see the need before he does. If I don’t do this I will not be raising a man or an independent individual but instead someone who expects another to always save him. It isn’t an easy thing to do…to watch your child head towards a cliff and hold in your scream. Instead I just make sure I am close by and always ready when he reaches out for help. Still even then I sometimes give him the knowledge to help himself so that the next time he sees the cliff on his own.
Whoa! I am still so not ready for this! Yes, my son is a Momma’s Boy to an extent and I am very picky when it comes to who I think is best for him. Yet watching him ‘check out’ girls and then see them checking him out. This is so not on my list of things I need…LOL
We did not allow him to go on a ‘date’ (a movie or outing without an accompanying adult) until he was nearly 16. I felt he needed to be ready mentally for what a relationship with a girl could bring. He found out quickly how someone he liked as a ‘friend’ could see him as more. It was hard watching him try to find words to tell a girl he liked how and felt and even how to let a girl down. I was happy to see that he did take care in both situations. I think I must be doing something right…LOL
To live his life with the freedom of knowing who he is, what he stands for and the impact he wants to leave and the knowledge to get there.
Wow! This was so much fun! Thanks so much to Christy for the idea of this swap and a new twist on a theme. I think I may need to do this again 🙂 Don’t forget to head over to see Christy at Uplifting Families and see how she answered my questions and her own…
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34 thoughts on “The ‘T’ Word: Teenagers … #AskAwayFriday”
Great swap! I always monitored my kids' FB pages, too, and still have total access to the younger two. With my oldest, I told him that if I saw something that I thought was inappropriate, he would be required to take it off, and he always respected my wishes. With the younger ones, I set all of their settings and monitor their friends closely. Lil miss will still come and ask me, if she gets a new friend request, who the person is and if she can add them or not. With music, I don't restrict much, but I know what they listen to. My oldest and I swap tunes constantly! I love that! Have a great weekend, Tiffany!
My recent post #AskAwayFriday with Chirleen from A Harvest Reaped!
That’s what I told my Teenager as well…if he couldn’t respect that then he couldn’t have the accounts. I always try to teach my kiddies that they represent us ALL as a family.
Yes my oldest and I share a love for music and often times the same kind of music…it’s fun 🙂
Happy Friday!
This is was so much fun and a great way to mix things up a bit. My daughter has a facebook account but has been grounded from it for a very long time due to grades and other stuff she did at the end of the school year.
The teen years can be difficult for both parents and kids, I just try to embrace it because they will be out of the house soon.
It really was. Yes, my son was banned from all social media for a long time for the same reasons. He has finally earned the right again…now that he is out of the house…LOL
I love the way you did this week's questions! My daughter is ten, almost eleven, so we haven't quite hit the teen years yet. I am trying to prepare myself mentally, though!!
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It was really so much fun Rabia…thanks goes to Christy for the theme set up. Haha..she\’s almost there but I\’m sure you\’ll do great! 🙂
Love the teenage theme! Social media is so tough; they have so much more to deal with than we did as teenagers. So far my kids have been smart, and I am constantly pointing out the do's and don'ts of social media. Sounds like you are raising a great kid, Tiffany! Actually, kids. I'm sure they are all fabulous 🙂
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Thanks Dana! It was really a lot of fun and I love the way Christy suggested to submit 5 questions a pice and answer our own too. Social Media is definitely new territory but I think teaching them to be smart, like you said, is key. Having Bloggers for Moms probably gives them a bit of an edge 🙂 Thanks so much…!
I don't like my kids' music, but I let them. I choose my battles with my teens carefully!
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Haha…luckily I like most of his music so our \’battles\’ are minimal 🙂
That's a great picture of your son. I am SO not ready to think of my son as a teenager, even though he's a preteen and that went REALLY fast! Have a great weekend!
Thanks! I wasn\’t ready either but it kinda just happens…LOL Enjoy your weekend 🙂
Not gonna lie I was terrified to read this post! I have a tween right now and one more right behind her at that stage. I have no idea how I am going to handle my daughter as a teen – I am constantly afraid our relationship will implode like my mothers and mine did.
Haha! No need to be scared. I think we psych ourselves out sometimes. Teens are a handful, yes but deep inside they’re still your kids. Trust they are trying to figure the whole thing out same as us. I had that happen as a teen but once I figured out who I was versus who she was trying to keep me as…we are fine now 🙂
This is totally fun! And food for thought for people with young kids, who will one day have kids using social media and "checking out" boys and girls! Ah, I feel like I was just a teen.
My recent post Scarlet Is In The Hotseat!
LMBO…it really was! Yes, Social Media is just a whole new can of worms…but still manageable. I do too! I love being young at heart even if not in number 🙂
I have a teenager (13) and a tween (9) and really enjoyed reading this. I'm so thankful that my son wants nothing to do with social media (so far). It is definitely and interesting and trying time but I am enjoying it.
Those are great ages! Oh wait for it…lol 🙂
My son is 11 and I dread the notion of teenage years. Out of the three, he is the good one, or rather the least likely to get into trouble and I fear that with my luck and Murphy he will do a complete turn over once the teen years start!
My recent post Ask Away Friday With Stacey From This Momma’s Ramblings
Aaaah…the Tween stage! If he is the good kid you say that will still be just with a bit of teen hormones added to the mix…lol
I have one headed to college for the first time next week. I've said a lot of these things to her. I liked what you said about being careful with how they influence the younger ones. So true! #saturdaysharefest
Isn\’t kinda surreal? Like you know it was coming but once it\’s time your just not that ready… Thanks, I am really glad that he actually considers how what he does may impact them. Thanks for coming by 🙂
I feel like the teenager years will be hear before I know it!
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Haha..I must admit it kinda snuck up on me a bit 🙂
Your link ups are so full of energy. One thing that scares me about becoming a mom is that they will become teens. Yikes!
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Thanks! I love that… 🙂 It can be daunting but it is never as bad as you think in your head…
This is a fantastic swap! I need to learn more about teenagers!
My recent post Ask Away Friday With Poetry
Thanks! Haha…there\’s a lot to learn…lol
Loved this!! My son is 13 and I'm just getting into the teenage years. Social media and dating are big topics among us parents, as his desire to be like his peers wars with our desire to protect him from the dangers in the world.
I loved all your answers, especially about your younger kiddos watching your son, and his response. My son is an only child, but he has younger cousins who look up to him. I may have to steal that line from you!
What a great swap! I hope you have a great weekend Tiffany!
Oh yes your official the parent of a Teenager…social media is opening an entirely new set of decisions for us as parents. It can be difficult to say no but at times it is necessary even if it may be only temporary.
Thanks so much … I\’m just glad he is aware that they are watching him and tries to be a good example. Haha…! Have a wonderful weekend 🙂
Aww…I enjoyed reading your "teen" theme AAF. Luckily, I still have a whille before my kids are teens. I agree with you I hate sagging pants and I never would have thought this trend would stick around so long.
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Thanks Sonya. It was really fun to do and answering my own questions put a new twist on things…LOL Oh the pants! I am ready to buy belts in bulk and just hand them out as I see fit! Geesh!
What a fun link-up! I am so nervous for Hamp to get into the teenage years. Teenagers drive me crazy now. I can't imagine having to live with one and deal with attitude all the time. I have already started praying for those years. haha
My recent post Facts of Life: After Baby
It really is – who doesn\’t love getting to know people a bit better and getting to be a bit nosy with permission? LOL 🙂 Haha…they aren\’t that bad, the attitudes come and go 🙂 I\’m sure you\’ll be fine!