Disclosure: The following content has been sponsored by State Farm®.
Nerd. Dork. Cheesy. Quirky. Funny. Awkward. These were all ways I would describe myself growing up. The difference is back then I saw them as negatives. They were the things I saw wrong with myself and felt I needed to change in order to fit in. Now, I have learned that to be who I wanna be is all I need to be. Now these words are the ones I embrace and treasure because they make me who I am. This confidence wasn’t something I came by easily, but oh now that I’m here I couldn’t be happier!
I Was Miserable
Growing up I had the normal ups and downs of childhood, but looking back I can see that a lot of them were of my own doing. I took it upon myself to try and get rid of what I thought were the bad qualities I had simply to try and fit in with those around me. I wanted to be who they wanted me to be and who they would accept and I thought it meant letting go of me. I must admit I became a bit of a pro at fitting in. I could even describe myself as a chameleon. I would change my speech, my look and even my likes simply to fit in with the people I thought I needed to be happy. Yet once I got there, the happiness never seemed to come. I was miserable. I had to work so hard to keep up the facade of being all they thought was acceptable that I almost forgot who I really was.
What About Me?
That’s right. I was so busy pleasing others I nearly forgot to please myself. I had to actually take a step back – and away – from the people I had sought to please and figure out why I wasn’t happy. I mean I’d gotten what I wanted, right? I wanted to ‘fit in‘ and be a part of their circles, so why then— even though I was there— why wasn’t I happy? They were all happy, which was great, but I wasn’t feeling fulfilled or even liked by them or more importantly myself. I stopped and asked myself – what about me? What did I want to do, be, say, like, wear…etc.? I lost myself in the process of fitting in and I was ready to make a change.
Who I Wanna Be
I decided that I needed to track down that girl I used to be and find out how she fit in with who I wanna be for me. I found her. All the quirky, nerdy and awkwardness she had and I held on tight. She was me! After all this time – I was half-way through my 30s – I was okay with being just that. I was a wife, mom and friend but along the way I forgot to be all of that plus who I wanna be. No more. There was room for it all. I was done trying to conform and change myself to fit the models of what others wanted from me. I finally reached that place where my happiness actually mattered. I had found my own groove in life. I loved my family and friends but I understood now that if they loved me, then they would love the real me – no matter what.
A New Confidence
I had a new confidence. It was okay to be that nerd girl, funny, awkward, cheesy, dorky…all of it. It was okay and it was me. I learned to embrace her, celebrate her and support her. Learning who I was has brought me to a place in my life where I never thought I would be. I was once a person who would not do anything without someone else there, but have learned to enjoy my own company. I have taken part in The Color Run for the 2nd time, and have attended Blog Conferences states away from home on my own! These are accomplishments I know would have never been possible without the confidence I found to be exactly who I wanna be.
Show Off Your Groove
Sometimes finding that confidence can be a journey with many paths. I know that for me music played a major role in that and there were days when simply getting my groove on helped me get through. State Farm wants you to turn on some music, get up off your feet and show them your #StateFarmGroove on Instagram to WIN an amazing chance to attend the 2015 ESSENCE Festival® in New Orleans! HURRY! ENTRIES ARE DUE JUNE 15!
How to Enter: 1. Instagram a photo or video of your best dance moves using both hashtags #StateFarmGroove & #ContestEntry 2. Must go to st8.fm/SFGroove and click “Connect to Enter” to confirm your submission.
One Winner Will Receive…
- Round-trip coach airfare for winner and one (1) guest to New Orleans
- Four (4) nights, five (5) days hotel accommodations in New Orleans
- Two (2) tickets per night to the ESSENCE Festival® concerts in New Orleans
- Two (2) VIP Experience tickets (tickets to various VIP events provided by the ESSENCE Festival®)
- Transportation to and from the New Orleans, LA, airport
- The winner will appear in an ESSENCE and State Farm video on ESSENCE.com
That’s right grab that camera, phone, or whatever and capture yourself showing off your best #StateFarmGroove then share your #ContestEntry HERE st8.fm/SFGroove for your chance to attend the 2015 ESSENCE Festival® in New Orleans!
Disclosure: I received compensation for this sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of State Farm.
“Believe in yourself, your passions, and your dreams. Your voice is unique - build on that. Embrace what is different about you and make it your greatest asset!”
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96 thoughts on “Who I Wanna Be”
I've always been a nerd and I still am to this day! It's great just being myself. Thanks for the giveaway!
It’s so much easier to be ourselves..trying to be something else just takes way too much time..LOL Thanks for coming by!
This is awesome! I love your story. Finding yourself can be tough. I had a hard time with it myself growing up. Once I found my stride though…
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Thanks Camesha! It can be but once you get their…to yourself and your stride…the journey is so worth it 😀
It's funny that as I get older I still find myself asking Who I Want to Be! The God news is that I hopefully have some time to figure it out
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i ask the same every now and then but having the freedom to answer with whatever I like…so great! Oh and yes, we do still have time! Thanks so much for coming by 🙂
I absolutely agree with this! It's very true that those things that make you different as a kids will be your money maker as Rihanna told me when I had the chance to interview her. I'm glad you got back in touch with your true self.
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Hi Adanna! Congratulations on your interview with Rihanna…finding that part of you that makes you unique is definitely key. Thanks so much for coming by!
There is absolutely nothing better than being yourself. Thanks for sharing your story and being authentically you.
Nothing Better!! Thanks so much and thanks for the encouragement 😀
Yes, finding yourself and allowing yourself to be who God created you to be, instead of what others expect is one of the most important tasks in life. It's taken me a minute to feel comfortable in my own skin, but once I did the work to learn to love all of me, it was the most freeing thing in the world!
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TRUTH! God knew me before I was formed and He knows what I am better than anyone so he is the only the one I need to accept and the only one I need approval from. Here\’s to FREEdom!
I can totally relate to this post! Throughout my childhood and teen years I always had to adjust for others. It wasn't until I became an adult and totally embraced who I was. Great post!
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I\’m so glad. I knew I couldn’t be the only one…LOL Embracing who we are is so amazingly freeing. Thanks so much and thanks for coming by!
What a great article. It's like my mind came out into your blog. Getting to 30 really changes your ideas on what you should be. And we should just be ourselves. Thanks for sharing.
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Thanks so much Steph. I’m so happy you could relate to what I shared. Oh yes, hitting that three zero definitely puts a lot into perspective. Thanks so much for coming by!
Are we twins? I feel like I experienced and share a lot of your story. I'm so glad to look back now and decide that I'm not here to please anyone but God. I'm glad I got back to my "FLY" self 😉
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Are We??? LOL… I’m so glad you can relate! You’re right God is my only Judge and realizing that helped a lot. You are definitely FLY Christine and I’m glad we have so much in common 😀
Great post it is so important to be your authentic self. Glad to see you came around, we like you just the way you are.
Thanks Girl!! 😀
It took me forever (like, 19 years of life) to figure out anything about myself. I was so dependent on other people or boys to validate who I wished I was but it wasn't till I went through something traumatic that I started to really figured it out. And I'm so glad I did.
Well you still got there a bit sooner than me (late 20s)…I’m glad we both found our way 😀
I was all of those things, but I never rejected it. I was always part of the out crowd, I just struggled with what I was supposed to do with it. No one else seemed happy in their nerdiness and so I still felt very alone.
I\’m so glad you had the confidence to accept you for you. It took me a while to get there but I am so happy that I found my way. You\’re not alone! NerdGirls ROCK 😀
This is quite a big contest with big prizes. For sure many will join at this one. Good luck to them!
It is! Thanks so much!
I love this contest! And I'm so happy that you're embracing you and all your uniqueness. I think most people go through the same thing at one time or another…and if I came across someone who was able to be themselves in junior high, I want to know their secret lol.
Me Too Sarah! Amazing prizes while having an awesomely fun entry process…LOL – I do too! 🙂
What a great story about your journey. I love that you kept at it and went about discovering your groove so deliberately. I find it easier to spend time getting to know me when I am away from everyone else. It cuts down on the noise in my head 🙂
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Thank you so much Jaime… It can be easier to fine ‘you’ without the distraction or interference of others. I totally get that!
This is a great timely post me. Just in time since I am searching for the real me 🙂
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Best wishes on your journey there…I am sure you will be happy with who you find 🙂
Beautiful post – and congrats on growing into a confident women and your 2nd annual Color Run and the Blog Conferences! I believe that it takes an inner awareness to grow through what you've described and that is such a blessing 🙂
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Thank you Donna! I agree and I am so happy to have found that place…
I try to be myself, the chessy, corny, dorky, fun loving nerd girl but that girl doesn't fit in many places so I find myself being someone different. It's great to just be who you truly are and be surrounded by others who accept that person!
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Haha! That’s me too but I have found trying to fit in to the places always leaves me with tainted memories of the moments. It’s so much more fun to just let the real me out and those who can’t or won’t handle her aren’t meant to 🙂
It's nice that you are being more comfortable with yourself and not stuck pleasing other people. It's really important to build one's self esteem so you can be a more complete person for others.
Thanks so much! I was so happy to get there and I am fighting hard to stay 🙂
I often don't know who I want to be. Sometimes I have completely different dreams for things.
My dreams change often but I am so glad I have come to a place where even if I\’m not sure what I want to do I still know who I am.
Being yourself is always the best, sometime it certainly can be hard. This is a great post!
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It is and it can be but so worth it. Thanks so much!
This is a very insightful article. I see how knowing the girl I used can be beneficial to who I want to be tomorrow and today.
Thank you so much. Exactly.
Thank You!! It has definitely helped me get where I am today.
This is such a great contest! It took me a while to find me, and then refind me when the kids were born… but I am trying to get there!
Thanks!! You\’re right…we do have to adjust and change as our lives change but keeping that core foundation of our personalities is so important. We\’re all trying to get there day by day 🙂
I think we are all guilty in some shape or form of not being who we truly are because we are so afraid that either we won't fit in or what our peers my think, but as we grow older we see ourselves for who we truly are and become more confident. I know it took for me to get married, have kids of my own and become an adult to finally get it and I'm still learning, but along the way I do stay true to myself. Great post!
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You’re right Tyesha. When we can get to the place where what other people think of who we are matters less than what we think – that’s true freedom. I’m still learning to and I love discovering more about myself each day. Thanks so much and thanks for coming by today 🙂
I'm about to turn 40 in a month or so, this actually shocked the girls at my gym, for some reason they thought I was much younger than them and I knew they were in their mid-forties and then the conversation lead to what they'd want to change – the sagging, the knees aching etc. I posed this question back to them: would you really want to be 20 again?
My answer – Hell no! 🙂 I love my life now, I've struggled to find who I am, struggled to escape what feminists want women to be, struggled with my self worth without a full-time income and "just" being a mom. Society loads all of this stuff onto us and I carried that burden for a long time and was unhappy, now I've found my happiness that I never want a vacation from. With each passing decade I get stronger in myself, stronger with my family, stronger with God, I expect some struggles in the next 2 decades with losing parents but I know life will just get better.
Thank you for your article, it made me very thankful.
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Hi Stephanie! Don’t you love it when people think your younger? I know I do! LOL… I would definitely NOT want to be 20 again. I was so confused and not comfortable in my own skin. I think I am so much happier now even with a few more years added on 🙂
Becoming a SAHM was the hardest thing for this independent girl too…I had to become okay with my Hubby providing the financial while I provided the emotional needed at home. I still struggle with that at times but in the letting go I’ve learned that I don’t have to do everything alone. I have a support and that is good. Thank you so much for coming by and for giving me a peek into your story. I truly appreciate it.
As a high school teacher I really connected with this post because I can't tell my students enough to just be themselves because they are totally and utterly awesome. Thanks for spreading a positive message!
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Thank YOU for reinforcing that in our next generation. Even though I have just gotten to a place where I accept me for me I am trying my hardest to give my Kiddies the tools to do that even now while their young.
Own it girl! It is so best to just be who we are made to be!
I will!! It really is 🙂 Thanks so much for stopping by!
Thanks for sharing your post! It's hard to get into the groove of life. We deal with so many insecurities on our journey to "us", and it's easy to let them sidetrack us from being our "best selves". I admire your honesty about your journey. I've been there too, and still at time struggle with not getting put back into old thoughts. But, we have to embrace ourselves and take chances. I love that you're traveling, and doing you. Life is a buffet, and I always appreciate someone who wants to try as many "options" as possible. Thanks again!
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Thank You for coming by Pamela. It can be very difficult but once we find that path it is so rewarding. Thank you, embracing ourselves is such a step in becoming at ease with who we are. I love the buffet analogy… so true! Have an awesome day!
I think we struggle at some point to figure who we are and whether or not that's the person we want to be. I tried fitting in early on in my childhood, but eventually I gave that up and just settled for being myself. I hope that as a mom, I'm helping my children to appreciate themselves for who they are and not who other people want them to be. Life's too short to be walking around always putting on a front to please others!
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Being yourself is never a settle. I am sure that your children are learning from you how to be the best them they can be. Life is definitely too short to try to be anyone else. Thanks so much for coming by and for sharing a bit of your story with me. 🙂
Progressing through those stages of life is so challenging, especially when you're unsure of yourself or when who you are isn't what's "cool" at the time. I think time and life really gives alot of perspective on those stages though. I see my son going through some of the same awkwardness that I did, and the worst thing is that others will point it out! I know he'll get past it though, and then he'll really be going places!
It truly can be Megan, I am so glad I moved pass the being ‘cool’ part and on to the just being ‘me’ part 🙂 I’m sure with your support and encouragement he will get through it with no issues. Thanks so much for coming by!
Looking back on my childhood is painful. I was molested for the first 12 years of my life so I did not develop mentally and emotionally like normal children do. After that, I was bullied a lot by classmates and some members of my own family for being overweight. In my 20s I managed to get over it and have a wonderful life. Now that I am almost 40, I have relapsed and find myself wondering who I am and what I should do with my life. Sometimes I think we all question who we want to be at various points in our life.
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Going through the things you have gone through could not make learning and discovering who you are easy. Yet you did! That period in your 20s you were able find you way to the other side of things and that means it IS possible. I pray you the best and hope that you are once again able to discover Chrystal in the midst of it all. Thanks so much for coming by and for sharing a piece of your story with me xoxoxo
Isn't it a wonderful feeling to grow and mature? It feels great to accept the quirks as they are and appreciate how they are the things that shape you. I'd once tried to "calm" my brash and aggressive nature, but it is two traits that have helped me to succeed and oddly enough, are what others like about me.
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So amazing Reginia! To move beyond the insecurities and uncertainties of youth. Definitely happy in my skin right now. I can see what you mean calming a part of what makes you who you are would simply take away from that. Be you and those who are meant to be in your life will be!
Wonderful. Like Oscar Wilde said: Be yourself, everyone else is taken!
Exactly! We are all the best us anyone can be 🙂
As a child, we all think negative things about ourselves and as we grow it's nice to see that we embrace them. We can only be ourselves and with confidence, that makes us beautiful! I am so happy you've gotten to that comfortable place in your life!
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I agree Tiara. We tend to see ourselves through the eyes and opinions of others as youth but when we reach a point when we can accept who we see in the mirror no matter what – that is such an amazing moment. Thank you and thank you so much for coming by today 🙂
What a great giveaway! Glad you took steps to go outside your comfort zone!
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Thanks Jeska! So happy you came by…
This is great – I can definitely relate to this. But after finding myself I totally embrace it!
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I do too Jacob! I am who I am and I love her! 😀
I lost myself after I lost my mother and I am now just getting back to me. I wasted so many years feeling depressed and angry that I missed some valuable lessons. I am so glad that I got it together it's taking some time but it's so worth the journey.
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I am so sorry for your loss, Kita. I can imagine how loosing someone who herself had so much influence on who you were can make that journey back a bit difficult.
I absolutely support this message and I'm so glad to see you post it! Thank you for sharing and for the great sweepstakes! 🙂
Thanks so much Susie!
This is great. Those are a lot of the same words I use to describe myself as well and I'm totally proud of it 🙂
Thanks Regan!! I\’m so happy I\’ve gotten to that place too 😀
You are talking to a late bloomer! Now that I've entered adulthood I thank GOD that I was a late bloomer. Things worked out just fine while i was being the awkward girl with braces I was into my books and studying.
Haha! I was too but yes being there is amazing even if I arrived a bit late 😉
Its important to love where you are at in life. I find myself weaving in and out of things. I can loose myself in motherhood and it takes awhile to find who I am again…people can loose themselves in work…but its best to loose yourself within yourself. That truely is being yourself. Loved this post from a fellow nerd girl! 😉
It is so important and yes being a Mother, Wife, even Friend can make it easy to loose yourself but getting back to that person is so key. Thanks so much Heather! 😀
For a while I lost in touch with ME, too. It was only in college that I found the confidence and made myself shine in my own little way.
I’m so glad you found the confidence you needed to be yourself, Esme.
I have lost touch with me for a couple years now! This is a great post so important to make ourselves a priority!
It’s never too late to get back to you…thanks so much and thanks for coming by Jennifer!
I have always tried to be ME–my friends had no problem with it–it was my Mom who was always (and still does) try to make me into her image. It took me almost 65 years but I now tell her NO–this is me–deal with it!!
Aaaah Mothers. For me it is my Grandmother…I think she stills sees me as the little girl she raised and not the woman I have become.
So important to feel like yourself and know who you are and want to be! It took me a long time to fully know who I am what I want to do and who I want to be! But it's amazing once you get there!
It truly is. It has taken me a while too but getting here was so worth it!
Being yourself is the best 🙂 There is only one you and no one can take your place! It's great that you have learned to embrace who you are!
Isn’t it! So freeing – I am so glad I have gotten there in my life.
I think most nerds are late bloomers, but the point is they bloom! Confidence is something you pick up along the way, when you're excelling at things far better than others. 🙂
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Me too. I think we have to get past those developmental years of middle school and high school. Really get to know ourselves and who we are and find our groove! Thanks so much for coming by Tanya 🙂