I Am Worthy.

I Am Worthy. Of the three one is key. Worthy. ‘I Am’ two statements of facts I do not question. Two words that bring truth to reality. Yet one word – worthy – worthy is a word I have struggled to call my own. To accept as one I deserve, one I’ve earned, one I can claim.

Why?

Why then has this word that has always seemed to challenge me come to me as one to instead inspire and encourage me in a year I am so uncertain of? A year that was at once a blur and exhaustingly long.

It all started with a moment. I allowed myself to feel less than those around me. I know. I know. Here’s the thing. Moments happen. I’m allowed to have them as long as they don’t become my truth.

So here’s how the moment came. I found myself among a group of people outside my comfort zone. Covid has isolated me in ways even this INtrovert is getting tired of and I haven’t been to an event in what seems like forever.

If anyone knows me they know events are part of what I do but not who I am. I have to prep myself to be ON and this time I was so excited to be somewhere I kinda forgot the prep. Which led to anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, and unworthy.

A moment where I once again found myself in a familiar place of doubt. Self-doubt. A place in time when I find myself questioning my choices, my placement, and even my purpose. The moments are fleeting – I never allow myself to stay in them for too long yet they still show up when I least expect them. Which is . . .

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When?

When I think I am most motivated and productive I have a pause when I wonder if I am worthy of the success ahead. Worthy of the results of my efforts. Worthy of HIS favor.

It always has and always will lead back to HIM – God. My father, keeper, protector, provider – my all. He who has promised me the most exceeding and abundant blessings if only I keep my mind on Him. Yet what about when my mind betrays me? When it strays to the thoughts of worry and uncertainty in who I am even in Him?

The times when I remember the potential once spoken over me as a child and again as an adult. The places in my life when I wonder if my path has changed without my even noticing. It’s here when I most often ask myself . . .

Where?

Where then is my worth? My value. My purpose. I ask these questions to answer them myself. I know where they all remain – in Him. Always in Him. In His promises and His purpose. Even when I doubt myself I can never doubt who He is in my life.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

Here.

So it is here I can reclaim my worth. In His word. In His promises. In His presence. It is here I remind myself of my worth and its true source. Him. I remember my ability to be worthy of His blessings doesn’t come from anything I’ve done, planned, or desire but in the simple reminder . . .

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I Am Worthy.

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