For Better or Worse blah blah blah. . . you know the line. The standard set of vows a couple recites on that Big Day. Don’t get me wrong! I’m not making light of them or their meaning. I’m sitting here thinking how big an impact those four words have on a marriage. We recite them without realizing their full meaning – until life happens.
When I got married it wasn’t with a huge ceremony or the fancy white dress. My Big Day was in an office at the court-house with a Justice of the Peace. We had a few family and friends there for support. We did it because we knew it was time and because we love each other. As I stood there and repeated the words as told, I thought on each one. I knew I would never break my vows. Still, I don’t think I realized ‘For Better or Worse’ was as two-sided as it implied. Naive but honest.
My Hubby and I have been together over 15 years now and the ‘For Better’ of our lives together has been amazing! In turn the ‘For Worse’ was not to be out done and has been a struggle at time to say the least. I am happy to say I think I’ve reached a point in my marriage where I’m learning that the better prepares us for the worse and the worse teaches us to value the better all the more.
It’s about balance. It’s about sacrifice. It’s about adjustment. But most of all it’s about understanding you don’t know everything. A while back I wrote a post pretty stating the fact that marriage isn’t easy – it still isn’t. The difference between now and then is I’ve found my flow. I don’t get stuck in the it’s all about me mode anymore – well not as often anyway.
I grew up as an only child – I have siblings but I was raised by my grandmother and my sisters were raised
by my mother. When I got married I was hit with the harsh and hard to take reality that life wasn’t all about me anymore. I wasn’t going to be the center of attention. It was about our kids it was about us and it was about him. Making that adjustment for me wasn’t the easiest of things. I thrive off attention. I’m learning day by day (it’s a process ya’ll) how to share that shine and even let them shine all by themselves.
So yeah maybe it took me 15 years. Maybe it took realizing that marriage isn’t easy. At the same time, all of those lessons learned brought me to a place where I feel like we’re still best friends but we’re also learning how to be a couple. Yep. I said learning. This is a daily thing. Perfection isn’t our goal but continual growth is something I know I can do.
Marriage takes time, it takes effort and it takes persistence.
Learning what you need to be to make your marriage the best it can be is how I’ve gotten through the other half of For Better. The good and the bad – the ups and the downs all go together to help create a marriage that endures. They build the foundation for your life to thrive.
Even as I write this, I know my Hubby will have more of both ‘the better and the worse’ ahead of us but I also know that because we are dedicated to who we are together we’ll make it through.
In your marriage or relationship how do you get through the worse?
How do you celebrate the better?
“Believe in yourself, your passions, and your dreams. Your voice is unique - build on that. Embrace what is different about you and make it your greatest asset!”
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